Recently I received an email from a friend. I'd like to share it to everyone because I find it insightful and helpful to struggling relationships. This message caught my attention due to the fact that the speaker is Brother Bo, he is my personal favorite writer. Ever since I got to read his works, I became a fan of him. He's advices are truly magnificent and practical and if applied I would say, is rewarding. He's the main contributor of a magazine Kerygma which is distributed nationwide and owns a blog BoSanchez.ph, I visited it once in a while because I feel fulfilled reading his words.
Why Do Families (And The World) Lack So Much Love? Mostly, It's
Because Husbands Aren't Loving Enough!
Two days ago, I had an ecumenical meeting with the President Gloria and various religious leaders in the country (even Muslim leaders). That was where I spoke to Bishop Ruben Abante, the head of the Alliance of Baptist Churches in the Philippines . We were talking about how to solve the problems of the world. Naks . That was when Bishop Ruben gave me a word about families that blew my mind.
Because Husbands Aren't Loving Enough!
Two days ago, I had an ecumenical meeting with the President Gloria and various religious leaders in the country (even Muslim leaders). That was where I spoke to Bishop Ruben Abante, the head of the Alliance of Baptist Churches in the Philippines . We were talking about how to solve the problems of the world. Naks . That was when Bishop Ruben gave me a word about families that blew my mind.
He said, "Brother Bo, the Bible says in Ephesians 5:25, 'Husbands,
love your wives, and wives submit to your husbands.' Have you ever wondered why the Bible doesn't say, 'Wives, love your husbands?'" "
Why?" I asked.
The Bishop explained to me that the responsibility to love the family rests on the husband's shoulder. The wife and the kids are only to respond to that love. In the same way that the Bible says in 1 John 4:9 (my life verse) "We love because He first loved us," we respond to God's love for us.
love your wives, and wives submit to your husbands.' Have you ever wondered why the Bible doesn't say, 'Wives, love your husbands?'" "
Why?" I asked.
The Bishop explained to me that the responsibility to love the family rests on the husband's shoulder. The wife and the kids are only to respond to that love. In the same way that the Bible says in 1 John 4:9 (my life verse) "We love because He first loved us," we respond to God's love for us.
That was powerful. I began to reflect on all the broken families I've counselled through the past 28 years of my life. Most of them (notall ) were broken because the father didn't love enough. And as I reflect on all the broken people I've counselled, I can see the same pattern. In most of these individuals (again, not all), I see the lack of a loving father in that person's life.
Fathers, you have a pivotal role in the life of your wife and children. You are to aggressively, assertively, deliberately love them-and they will respond.But the good Bishop was not finished. He said, "Why didn't God say, 'Husbands, submit to your wife?'" "Why?" I asked again.
He said that once that love is there, submission is the naturalresponse . He asked, "Why is there so much rebellion and disobedience among children today?" He explained that kids need to see their mother submit to their father as a model to follow. (We didn't have time to talk about
situations where the man of the house doesn't love. Should the wife still submit? That difficult question I hope to answer it in another article.)
But let me share with you my experience.
I love my wife. I do it aggressively, assertively, and deliberately.
And she submits to my leadership. I have a vision for the family
and I'm bringing my family to that vision-and she supports me.
But what does that mean in daily life? That I'm king and she's my slave?
Gosh, you should visit my home.
Because I love her, I want to serve her. And because she follows
already my general direction, I realize that 90% of life's decisions are about the trivial stuff. Because I love her, it's my joy to say, "Yes" to her . So in reality, I follow her 90% of the time! She isn't my slave. She is the queen I pamper.
That, my friends, is marital headship-submission in daily life.
It is with this note that I greet you a Happy Valentines Day.
May your families be filled with love.
Husbands, take responsibility in filling your family with love.
Wives, support and submit to your husband.
And together, we can fill the world with God's love.
I remain your friend,
Bo Sanchez
